Hufflepuff's Boggart Lesson
by KomodoClassic
Summary: Prisoner of Azkaban. Hufflepuff gets the boggart lesson. Lupin doesn't know what he's in for.


**I can't imagine that Lupin would have been allowed to give the boggart lesson only to the Gryffindors. And, well, Hufflepuff tends to be seen as the leftover house.**

* * *

Professor Lupin led the third-year Hufflepuffs into the spare room on the fourth floor. "Alright. We've found another boggart, so I've decided it's time for your lesson in banishing them."

"About time," Ernie McMillan muttered. "The Gryffindors and Slytherins get their turns first. Then later, when the Ravenclaws complain about the injustice of the gap in their education, another gets shipped in. We get ours _two months_ after everyone else. Typical. Hufflepuff always gets the short end of the stick."

Lupin sighed. "I realize your boggart lesson has been a long time coming. But we've got one, and it's your turn. Who would like to go first? Susan?"

Susan Bones looked up, eyes wide. "Me?" she squeaked.

"Yes, absolutely. Come here, take out your wand, let's go."

Susan edged to the front of the room, and the cupboard containing the boggart banged ominously.

"It's easy enough," Lupin told her. "The movement is like this, and the incantation is _riddikulus._ The key is to make the boggart not scary. What's you greatest fear, Susan?"

"Heights," was her reply.

Lupin paused. "Does anyone have any ideas on how to make heights funny?"

Another student, Alice Larkin, raised her hand. "Put bouncy mushrooms at the bottom?"

Several students turned to stare at her, and she wilted a little. "Like trampolines. Mario uses them. We have a trampoline at my house, they're lots of fun…" she trailed off.

"Anyone else?" Lupin asked, but there were no other hands. "Alright, trampolines it is then. Susan, when the boggart comes out, it will become your greatest fear. I want you to imagine trampolines at the bottom of the drop, okay? Then someone else can step forward. Can anyone tell me why numbers is an advantage when facing a boggart?"

Hannah Abbott raised her hand. "The boggart will get confused."

"Excellent. Yes, I'm sure you've heard the story I told the other classes about the boggart who turned himself into half a slug trying to scare two people at once." He smiled. "I want everyone to consider their greatest fear, and if you know what it is, think of a way to defeat it. Susan, are you ready?"

Susan took a deep breath, visibly steeling herself. Then she gave Lupin a shaky smile. "Bring it on," she said with admirable bravado.

Lupin cast _alohomora _at the lock. The cupboard popped open and the room immediately became engulfed in fog. When it cleared, Susan stood at the very edge of a long, long drop. Her face went pale.

"The incantation, Susan!" Lupin reminded her.

"R—riddikulus!" Susan cried, pointing her wand at the bottom. There was a pop, and Susan's expression changed.

Alice edged forward. "I told you it would work," she said, pointing down at the bouncy mushrooms that had appeared in the chasm.

"Alice, prepare yourself!" Lupin warned, just as the boggart popped again, becoming…another room-filling landscape, this one with a dusty, reddish-brown sky and a complete absence of life, though some ruins filled the background. A big, bright _thing_ came at them from the sky.

"Riddikulus!" Alice shrieked, and the light exploded into sparkles and rainbows.

"What is that thing?" Ernie asked in a low voice. "Why is that scary?"

A pale-faced Randall Grant whispered, "It's a nuclear missile—a Muggle weapon that can kill whole cities. Her worst fear is nuclear Armageddon."

Justin Finch-Fletchley was pushed to the front of the class. With a pop, the boggart become…a small closet. The entire class was crowded together inside a shrinking room.

"Justin, the spell!" Lupin said.

"How do you make claustrophobia funny?!" Hannah shouted.

"Riddikulus!" Justin yelled, a bit desperately. "Riddikulus!" The small room became transparent, effectively allowing the class to see outside of their small prison.

The boggart instantly transformed again, this time becoming…water that filled the entire room.

"Really?" Lupin sounded frustrated. "Whose fear is this?"

Ernie pointed at Randall. "He's drowning!"

"Randall, it's an illusion! Say the spell!" Lupin pushed toward the boy.

"Riddikulus," Randall gasped out, and the water was sucked into a large drain that appeared in the floor.

"Where—?"

Another pop. The boggart was still there, and this time it had become a _noise,_ of all things. Thunder cracked again and again, filling the room. Muggle-born witch Amy Cantor cringed and covered her ears. "Riddikulus!" she yelled.

"Amy, your wand!" Lupin reminded her.

Her hand crept to her wand. "Riddikulus!" The thunder became a drum that tatted out a heavy beat and was soon joined by an electric guitar and hard-rock vocals.

Lupin spared a second to stare at the small, shy girl, stunned that she listened to that kind of music, but then the boggart popped again and he had no more time.

"GERMS? REALLY?"

* * *

Lupin fell into a chair in the teachers' lounge, exhausted.

Professor McGonagall turned to look at him. "I take it the boggart lesson did not go well?"

"Oh, they banished it. I believe the thing may have gotten exhausted after illustrating so many fears that took up the entire room…"

Minerva set down her teacup. "What do you mean?"

"Susan Bones' greatest fear is _heights_. How do you make that funny? Alice Larkin is afraid of _nuclear Armageddon._ Half of my students didn't even know what that was!"

"Alice is Muggleborn," Minerva reminded him.

"Claustrophobia! Fear of drowning! Thunder!" Lupin covered his eyes. "For Merlin's sake…if I were a boggart, I'd be at a loss on how to even show a fear of germs!"

"Claustrophobia? Whose was that?" Flitwick asked, coming into the lounge.

"Justin Finch-Fletchley," Lupin sighed. "How does one even develop a fear of torture by curling irons? Why not a more conventional form of torture, like the Cruciatus Curse? Or even thumbscrews or waterboarding? Why curling irons?"

Professor Sprout bustled in. "Grace had quite a traumatic incident with a hot curling iron when she was younger. I understand the scars are still there." She poured herself a cup of tea and leaned against the counter, only then becoming aware of the stares her colleagues had directed at her.

"Well, I'm sorry, Remus; if I'd known you planned to give my Hufflepuffs a boggart lesson I would have warned you that their fears tend towards the…abstract."

"And ridiculous, and outlandish, and downright weird," Lupin muttered. "If you're going to be afraid of an Apparition accident, wouldn't the thing to be afraid of be splinching? Not landing in the wrong place? And even that's pretty reasonable—but the example was a wedding."

"Sam's cousin's wedding was ruined by a mass Apparition accident," Sprout offered.

Lupin let his head fall back against the headrest of his chair. "Fear of brain damage. Shown by way of playing baseball," he said, sounding completely defeated.

Professor Snape swept into the teachers' lounge in a dramatic swirl of black robes. "Lupin," he said coolly. "It appears Hannah Abbott has discovered a boggart in the dungeons. She's gathered the Hufflepuff third-year class and asks if you would help them take care of it."

Lupin groaned and sank further into his chair.

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**There you go. Love it or hate it? Leave a review.**


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